Somewhere along the way, I think we’ve confused being professional with being formal. Saying the right things, looking the part and keeping just enough distance between ourselves and our clients. I understand where that comes from, because for a long time, that was my idea of professionalism too.

Before becoming a therapist, I spent around ten years in hairdressing. I came from quite a traditional salon environment, where there was a clear expectation of how you should present yourself and speak to clients. When I moved into therapy, I carried a lot of that with me.

Training reinforced some of it. There was a routine to follow, a way to perform each treatment and an idea of how a therapist should behave. When you’re new and trying to get everything right, it’s easy to think that becoming good at your job means fitting neatly into that picture.

I certainly did. I put so much thought into doing things correctly that I sometimes forgot to trust the parts of myself that already helped people feel comfortable.

You can take your work seriously and still let people see who you are.

The more clients I’ve treated, the more I’ve realised how much the relationship matters. People want to feel comfortable with the person whose hands they’re putting themselves in. They want to feel listened to, understood and able to settle into the treatment without worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing.

For me, warmth is a huge part of creating that. So is being myself. Sometimes that means having a laugh during the consultation. Sometimes it means giving someone the space to talk. And sometimes it means noticing that they’ve had enough conversation for one day and letting them enjoy the quiet.

None of that takes away from the care I put into my work. I can be friendly and still have clear boundaries. I can be relaxed in how I speak and still be confident in what I’m doing. Being approachable doesn’t mean my standards are any lower.

I think social media has made this more visible too. Clients often get a feel for us before they ever book. They see how we work, hear us speak and begin to decide whether they’d feel comfortable coming to us. By the time we meet, there’s often already a little bit of familiarity there.

Feeling at ease with your therapist is part of the treatment.

When I think about the treatments that have stayed with me as a client, I remember more than the techniques. I remember whether I felt welcome, whether the therapist seemed present and whether I could properly let go. Those are the things I pay attention to in my own work now.

That doesn’t mean every therapist needs to be chatty, outgoing or the same as me. A quieter therapist can create just as much warmth and connection. I think the important thing is finding a way of working that feels natural to you, rather than feeling you have to put on a different personality to be taken seriously.

I still care deeply about being professional. I care about my standards, my boundaries and the experience I’m creating for every person who comes through the door. I just feel much more comfortable letting my own personality be part of that now.

Philippa x